Yesterday I talked about the inevitable question that will come up in every traveling family. The one that goes, “Can I Invite a Friend?” We’ve taken kids along as guests on a few day and weekend trips, and I learned a few things that I know are going to help when we invite a friend along for a week or more.
The Planning
Even if it’s my child’s best friend who is at our house 24 hours a day, there will be a long conversation with the other parents before we even decide if it will work. Things like this will be discussed:
Cost
What will we provide? Transportation and housing? Or will we pay for everything?
What if we just house and feed them? Are the parents willing to buy a plane ticket for their child? Maybe they would let the child spend their own money on the flight.
How about fees to get into attractions you plan to visit? It’s unbelievable how fast they add up when you are talking about buying tickets for 3, 4 or even more people. Disney Land, Busch Gardens, even the Hoover Dam or a haunted house at Halloween can practically put you in the poor house already. If you are going to be buying an extra ticket, you will want to know ahead of time.
One situation that I inadvertently ran into was when we made an unexpected stop at a water park on our way home one weekend. It cost $35 for each person to get in, and although I knew the parents had sent enough money to cover it, I paid the entry fee because we hadn’t planned on it. I paid the $175 to get five of us in, and told the kids that there would be no souvenirs, so they shouldn’t even bother bugging me about it.
My kids had no money on them, but of course, the other child did. And he proceeded to buy himself a bunch of stuff at the gift shop, and wouldn’t even let them touch it. I learned right then that I should have had the parents give the money to me, and I would dole it out just like I do for my own kids.
Information
Even though it seems that you can get in contact with anyone, anytime, you should still have certain things with you in case of an emergency.
- Medical insurance card
- Permission to seek medical care from the guest child’s parents signed by them.
- Knowledge of any existing medical conditions, allergies, or prescriptions that you or an attending physician may need to know
- A back up contact person in case you are unable to contact parents.
Rules
When kids are young, you obviously go everywhere together. What happens when they are in 8th grade, and there is a big gathering in the teen center at the resort where you’re staying? Will you let your teen and her friend attend, and stay until midnight? Is this okay with the other child’s parents? Ask ahead of time. Don’t wait and ask the kid. Don’t be that silly:)
Do you have a rule that your kids can’t text at dinner? What if they don’t have that rule at the other child’s house? What if they don’t have dinner together at all? Talk about it ahead of time.
What will the rules be about movie ratings?
Is it ok to drop the kids off at a shopping mall, and pick them up later? How about golfing? Swimming?
These may seem like little things, but they can turn into big misunderstandings. Talking about them with the kids and the parents ahead of time can save you a huge headache in the long run.
The Trip
…will be perfect, because you’ve taken care to get everything sorted out ahead of time, and everyone will know what to expect. Excellent.
*image by savingqueen_com
About the author: Debbie Ferm is the founder of traveldither. Get more from Debbie on twitter.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, how I cringe to hear, “Can I bring a friend?” Great answers to tough questions in this post, Debbie.
Just a note on the “Information” portion. In addition to a note authorizing you to seek medical treatment for the guest child, you need to also have a signed letter authorizing you to be transporting the child. As a precaution you should also have each of those notarized, especially if you are crossing into another state or country. My son was lucky enough to be invited on a Carribbean Cruise for his friend’s Bar Mitzvah a few years ago. His friend’s dad, a doctor, felt that notarizing the medical release was important so as not to delay treatment if necessary. While none of us wants to be paranoid, it’s important to legally protect yourself as well as the child you are hosting and to ensure that if medical attention is necessary that there is no question as to who can authorize the treatment. I am not a lawyer and don’t play one on TV, I’m merely suggesting it’s better to be safe all the way around!
Thanks for that addition, Karin. I agree, it is definitely a good idea to cover your bases just in case, and then quit worrying and enjoy yourself!
So What if the child gets “hurt” and the father or mother wants to sue. ANYTHING they can sign?
Not sure exactly what you mean, Robert. Maybe you could elaborate a little. It sounds like that is one of those “What if” scenarios that are only answered on a case by case basis.
Thanks for the reply. We want to take a friend of my son on vacation with us and was wondering besides having the friends parents sing a medical form allowing medical treatment if necessary . Is the any form that might be used to relive US of any reasonable liability? We are going white water rafting, caving and zip line (boys 17 years old).
Thank You
Robert
Hey Robert, I’d be happy to look into it for you a bit. It sounds to me like it’s more of a personal contract thing, similar to a rental contract. I’m not certain I would take a friend along if I had that kind of reservations. There’s a select few that I would fee comfortable taking. I’ll let you know what I find out about it ASAP.
Debbie
Debbie,
That would be great.
Thanks Robert
Hi, I was just wandering how to thank a family that just took my son on a 10 day vacation to the Keys. The family paid for the whole vacation. They were extremely nice to take him. I am a single mother on a very tight budget but I wanted to make sure that I had thanked the family properly. My son is 13 years old. Thanks for the advice, Jill
I have the same question. How do you thank your childs friends parents for. Inviting your child on a trip. This was a day trip. They paid for everything. My funds are extremely limited. Is a thank you card sufficiant? A seperate one from me and my child/teen? Thank you for your help!
I’ve been on both sides, and I think a thank you note from your child would be great. I’m sure they would really appreciate it! Taking a friend along usually benefits the parents as much as the kids, and I’m sure they were glad to have him/her.
I hope that helps!
Debbie
Maybe you could change the page title travel with kids – taking your child’s friend on a family vacation to more specific for your webpage you write. I liked the blog post all the same.
I’m not exactly certain what you’re saying, but I’m glad you stopped and enjoyed the post.
My daughter is going on vacation leaving today from Oklahoma City to Santa Ana, CA with her best friend and her family. The Mom and I are talking about all the things we haven’t discussed when they pick her up in less than 30 minutes. Thanks for posting this as it gives me some additional things to discuss. I had covered most of the basics but you gave me more
Hi all, I was wondering what to do in this situation. I am taking my daughter to a Haunted House attraction (15 yrs old) and she wants to bring a friend. My concern is if something happens to her friends… Like she slips and falls and breaks something or if she has a heart attack from being scared if I am legally responsible and if her parents can sue. I just hate thinking like this but we do live in a “sue happy world”. I would like to get thoughts on this! Thanks for all your help!